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How Dating Has Changed in the 21st Century

With an article title like this, one might assume that I am ready to tell you some extraordinary news about a new dating environment. Sure, the Internet has introduced one more way for people to meet, but does that actually change the dating scene?

Interestingly, a friend of mine met his current wife online, but not from across country, rather from across town. The two of them lived just five miles apart. Jokingly, we have talked about it from the standpoint of “you could have met, if only you had been willing to get out more.” But it was not that easy. Sure, in theory they probably could have met when they were out and running around, but if you talk to both and ask them the places they go and the people they know, the chances of actually having met were entirely unlikely.

He is a Baptist and she is a Catholic. He is a blue-collar worker, and she works for a dentists’ office. He goes to football games and hangs with his friends, and she used to go to the bar with the girls. Although they both lived in the same small town and graduated from the same high school, none of his friends had ever met her, and none of her friends had ever met him or his friends.

The two of them were so close, and yet so far apart from one another.

The Internet was instrumental in bringing the two together. They were introduced to one another through their respective personal profiles on dating websites. After a couple of exchanged emails, they turned first to Yahoo Chat, and then they orchestrated a personal meet for dinner at a local restaurant. I guess you can say the rest is history.

After a nine-month courtship, the two were married, and they have been married now for two years.

Lessons To Be Learned

Ah yes, I am one of the guys who write about online dating. So, I got the idea to start asking questions. I wanted to know what if anything could have impacted this hookup in a negative way. Now and again, I will ask a question and wish later that I had just kept my mouth shut. In a way, this was one of those situations, and you will see why in a minute.

Both indicated that a picture on a profile is absolutely essential. Neither was willing to talk to anyone who hid behind a computer on the Internet. Had either one not included a picture, neither would have responded to the others’ email.

Both had been doing the online dating thing for a couple years. So, both had scars from the experience.

She said that one should never lie in a profile. She said that when she chatted guys online or met them in person, she was keen to listen to everything she was told. She was looking for discrepancies between what was said in chat, in person and in the profile. She said that when she first started the online dating thing, she did not pay much attention to those things, but she later found that these little red flags were a good indication of bigger red flags that she would not want to discover later.

Both suggested one of my standard pieces of advice was completely valid. I have always said that we should get to know one another a bit better, before we start making commitments to one another.

She said that guys, who were quick to jump into a commitment, were not only nerdy, but also desperate for a good reason. He said that girls were quick to declare love or commitment usually turned out to be scammers looking to make a quick buck. He said that within days of the first declaration of love, she would always be asking for money, and she would pitch a fit if you told her no, after all she would say, the two of you shared something special.

She said there was two emails that she dreaded receiving from guys. She said any email that employed cheesy pick up lines would not be answered ever. She said that if I guy wanted her attention, he would need to give some thought to his emailed words. Second, she said that if she wanted to see a guy’s male part, she would invite him to her house for the night. She did not want to see him in an email message.

He said there was two emails that he also dreaded receiving. He did not want to hear “I love you” at all, nor did he want to be spoken to in a condescending way. I asked him what he perceived to be “condescending”. He said words like, “sweetie”, “dear” and “honey” were immediate turn-offs, as he perceived those women to be professionals looking to get paid for their dates.

All Went Well To This Point, And Then…

You know I am the type of person who is not easily embarrassed. The interview had been going well, and then I asked the wrong question to the wrong person. And it all changed, just like that.

I asked my friend and his wife whether they had ever got together with someone just for fun, like a one-night-stand type arrangement. Both had said yes, and then I regretted having asked the question. My friend’s wife indicated that she had one real good “friend with benefits”, and as a single guy, I might enjoy some of the activities they liked doing.

If I had stopped here, then everything might have been all right, but I asked what she meant.

Immediately, the alarm went off in my brain signaling too much information! I turned beet red and she laughed. And to this day, I have never lived down that moment in time.

Lance Metzger writes about relationships, offline and online dating. At No Strings Attached Dating, our philosophy is, “Let’s get to know one another before we start making any commitments to one another.” To explore Friends With Benefits Dating, visit http://www.nsadatingsite.com

Facts About Breast Implants

Many women seek breast augmentation to improve their appearance or self confidence. Sometimes they do it simply to become larger. Other times they seek to fill in the volume which has become lost following pregnancy. Among plastic surgery procedures, breast augmentation is currently one of the most popular – and with a very high rate of patient satisfaction.

A breast implant is a fluid filled sac that is inserted under the breast tissue and is designed to enhance the size of the breast and to change its shape. For appropriate and well-informed candidates, breast augmentation can provide very pleasing results.

There are two different types of breast implants. The first is saline-filled and the second is silicone gel-filled. Some women are of the belief that silicone implants cause illnesses in women, like autoimmune diseases. This is a serious issues, but fortunately this has been shown to not be the case. There can be risks to the procedure, like with any surgery. Local side effects like breast pain, capsular contracture and rupture or deflation of the breast implant are possible. It is also important to remember that breast implants don’t last a lifetime and one should be prepared for long-term follow up if adjustments become necessary.

After reading about breast implants, you should give yourself time to make an informed decision about whether or not having breast implants are right for you. You should decide whether or not you want to have breast implants based on what you think your outcome should be. It is important to have realistic expectations. There is no guarantee that what your breast implants will look like those of other women. Think about how healthy you are now, what your chest structure is, your capabilities of healing such as whether you’ve had surgery, whether you smoke, if you have bleeding tendencies and the skill of the surgical team doing the procedure.

Description of Implant

Breast implants each vary according the surface of the shell (textured versus smooth), the shape of the implant (round versus shaped), profile (how far the implant sticks out), and the volume (size) of the implant. Most implants consist of a shell, a filler and a patch that covers the manufacturer’s hole. The bulk of them are single lumen, although some have a lumen inside another lumen (double lumen). Some breast implants have a fixed volume of filler while others are filled during the operation and others allow for adjustments to the volume of the filler.

Saline Implants

There are three types of saline implants. The first is a single lumen implant that is generally filled up during the procedure with saline through a port. After the operation, the size of the implant remains the same. The second type of saline implant is a single lumen implant that is filled during the procedure through a port. The size of the implant can be changed after the operation. The third type of saline implant has a fixed volume of saline in it and has no valves for filling or removing saline.

Silicone Gel-Filled Implants

Silicone implants, unlike saline, come pre-filled by the manufacturer. They thus require a slightly longer incision during the procedure. In many cases, they tend to feel softer and more natural than saline implants.

Risks

Breast implants may not last forever. They may rupture, leaking fluid into the breast fluid. If this happens, you will likely need have the implants replaced. It is safest to assume that you will have reoperations one or more times in your lifetime. If you choose to have your implants removed completely, you might have dimpling, wrinkling, loss of breast tissue or puckering of the breast.

When you have any of the complications of implants, you may need removal of the implant. The various complications include asymmetry, inflammation, breast pain, calcium deposits, contracture of the capsule, chest wall deformity, rupture, deflation, scarring, lumps, unsatisfactory style or size, or infection.

Breast augmentation can offer improvements in appearance and confidence. Many women have great satisfaction from the breast augmentation. But the procedure is not for everyone and it is important to make a fully informed decision prior to going forward.

Lloyd Krieger is a Los Angeles cosmetic surgeon who specializes in breast augmentation.

5 Reasons Why Being Honest is the Best Way to Make Money Online

Did your mother tell you that Honesty is the Best Policy. It is age old wisdom that has gotten lost in the internet age of hard sell marketing. But I think that it still holds true for several reasons.

People are Tired of Being Sold To

Banner Ads, Google Ads and pop ups are constantly bombarding the internet traveler. These are obviously effective but when someone feels like they are being told the truth they are more apt to trust, listen and respond. Coming off like a sales pitch on a banner add leads customers to believe that not everything being told to them is the truth. This lack of trust will obviously affect the customer’s willingness to open their wallet.

When Given Good Information People Will Respond With Confidence

Most people are reasonably intelligent. When they are given accurate information they can buy the product with confidence. Sure we would all like to lose 20 lbs in two weeks without changing our diet or having to exercise. But short of a gastric bypass this isn’t going to happen. When you are honest with customers about making healthy choices to change their lives they will run to a good product to meet their needs. When you sincerely care about people and their success marketing a good product comes more easily.

When You Have A Great Product it Should Sell Itself

When a product is presented honestly along with some proof that it works a reasonable customer will give it a try. People will respond to honesty. If you have to bend the truth and shine it up for marketing then it isn’t the right product. There is a difference between putting the best foot forward and creating a fictional limb.

If the Product Doesn’t Deliver then the Customer will Return it and Not Buy From You Again

Think about the things you buy over and over again. They are items that meet your needs over and over again. If you have a good product then the customer will buy it again and recommend it to their friends. Those 40$ diet pills will not be purchased again because they simply didn’t work. The retailer will move on to some other sucker looking for a quick fix. Don’t be that retailer!

Karma will Catch up to You

I am a believer in God but you can call it Karma or the cycle of life. The reality is that what goes around comes around. You may experience some short term success with questionable standards but ultimately it will catch up with you. It may be in the form of a bad reputation or a heart attack but it will ultimately get you.

Do the right thing and serve other people. The global economy should lead to a global community. When people treat each other with dignity and respect something good is bound to happen. Be one of those marketers who cares about your customer and makes a lot of money in the process. You will sleep better at night and look better in the morning.

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Yellow Dresses-Yellow the Main Colour For 2009

Yellow has been hailed as the main colour of 2009, although it is followed closely by other important colours.

Following Michelle Obama who has quickly earnt herself a good fashion reputation, she was seen wearing a yellow shade delicately for the inauguration ceremony on 21st January 2009. She wore a lemongrass wool coat with a matching dress of wool guipure lace, with softly playful hues of yellow.

Yellow is the colour of optimism and new beginnings. Never underestimate the power of colours and the clothes that we choose to wear.

Yellow can make you feel open to new ideas, while making you feel confident and happy. It is a great colour to wear when learning or trying to absorb new information. It makes you feel warm and alert.

This colour injects a new energy into fashion this year, and comes in yellow dawn glow shades, buttercup golds and citrine yellows.

The Pantone selected shade of yellow is Mimosa Yellow (14-0848). It is a warm, golden shade of yellow that suits most skin tones.

It’s a great colour after a long and dreary winter, to dress up as bright as sunshine.

Yellow is being combined with geometric shapes and metallic shades for this seasons’ hottest looks. Celebrities such as Kerry Washington, Jennifer Lopez and Paris Hilton have been seen wearing the sunshine look. Jennifer was photographed in spring leaving a Miami hair salon with a lemon yellow frock.

Some people look at yellow when it is on the rack and feel a bit like “Could I wear it and carry it off?”

You can always try to ease your way into yellow by wearing it combined with other colours. There are some fab dresses with yellow matched with other colours, or step gently into yellow to begin with only accessories.

One thing is for sure, it’s almost impossible to wear yellow and sulk! Once you put on yellow you have to be in a good mood, it’s unavoidable.

There are some shades of yellow that are more suited to certain skin tones. A buttery yellow dress will look great on someone with a medium tan for example. But regardless of shade teamed with right accessories yellow can look good on most people.

Even though its quite a few years ago, an example of this would be when Cate Blanchett was voted the best-dressed at the 2005 Oscars. She wore a pale yellow Valentino gown which was an exact match to her hair colour, but added a crimson sash and bright lips for the wow factor.

Canary yellow is a colour that actually looks great on everyone. You can wear this matched with white stripes or print, or go for a bold solid yellow. Match solid canary yellow with white accessories, chunky necklaces and bracelets, white bags and shoes or sandals.

Yellow with silver shot through it is also a wonderful option, and especially good for showing off a tan.

Another shade of yellow is marigold which is a darker shade of golden yellow, with autumn hues. Marigold is a colour to be careful of with paler skins, tone it down with accessories for balance and fashion success.

As with any fashion shopping, be realistic about the shades that suit and enhance your features. Choose accessories for effect, and feel happy to wear yellow.

Jackie de Burca is co-owner Creative Web Advertising, which is an International internet media consultancy. Creative Web Advertising specialise in Pay Per Click, SEO and web consulting. Yellow is one of my favourites and great mixed with other colours for lovely yellow dresses.

The Psychic Whirlpool of May 2009

I feel a great psychic force sucking us into an elliptical holding pattern this month. This holding pattern continues throughoutthe month of May as we attempt to escape the outer spiral arms of a whirlpool trying to suck us under. I sense that this whirlpool draws its energy from the dichotomy between novel theories and their practical application.

The inertia generated by this whirlpool requires a consolidation, rerouting, upgrading, and rewiring of resources to jury rig an escape from its powerful siphon. I envision the use of super conducting materials, conduits, and components enabling our vessel to muster up the energy necessary to free us from the grips of this dangerous force.

In addition, just as the supercharged engines of our vessel exert their increased power output the circular energy of the whirlpool acts as a slingshot adding momentum to our escape velocity. This initial moment of instantaneous velocity acts as a catalyst to propel us into uncharted waters. These waters though uncertain and full of the unknown provides an opportunity to explore the vast reaches of the human condition that remain an untapped resource to the populace still enslaved to the narrow minded thought processes of the past.

New courses charted into the vast expanse of this uncharted territory of the mind will open an exploratory passageway into a vast new frontier of intellectual diversity that awaits us on the horizon. The illusory perception of flatness dissolves as the true form of the round earth takes shape past the horizon and into the deep still waters of the unexplored leagues beyond.

This new previously undiscovered resource of the human mind opens the fishing grounds of what was once thought to be a desert of water. But, instead we find an abundance of previously unknown vital resources which further humanity into a new era of self-sustainability. These new resources are more than just psychic in nature and provide a tangible avenue for global prosperity.

This new source of prosperity not only empowers us as individuals but as a world consciousness. Bound together like the individual strands making up the rope of humanity. We become strengthened as a world community gaining the ability as a sum of nations to accomplish what an individual strand or nation finds impossible.

As this course charted by our innovative, fearless, and morally sound leaders is negotiated the storm clouds become less ominous and the swells subside. The treacherous waters traversed act as a forge to iron and strengthen the fiber of our beings. A new tougher solidified world emerges with the ability to make true progress with renewed strength.

I feel that during May the enduring strength of the human spirit continues to drive us forward. I foresee bravery, truth, and integrity acting as a beacon to safer shores. The rocky obstructions of the perilous breakers narrowly averted by global changes in philosophy, ideology, and priorities.

The month of May truly marks the embarkation of our new voyage into the great beyond. Our idealism pays off as what was once thought to be impossible or utopian becomes reality. The whirlpool of deceit, decay, and greed left in the wake of our mighty vessel of humanity reminds us of a more barbaric unsophisticated time of feudal financial warlords divvying up their spoils at the expense of their fiefdom.

Frederick Gimino owns and operates the Free Psychic Network. Providing Psychic Readings including oracles in genres like Astrology, Numerology, Tarot, video readings, And Horoscopes. Visit the Free Psychic Network your authoritative expert portal to Psychics and psychic services on the web!

Nutrition For Kids- An Essential Element of Parenting!

Most mothers live in a constant state of worry about the right nutrition for kids and how to go about achieving it. The problem does not lie with their lack of information but with the un-cooperative attitude of their children. Almost all kids seem to have problems with consuming the kind of nutritious food that aids mental and physical development. Struggles relating to food issues are ubiquitous and mothers are commonly found discussing strategies to overcome this barrier. How do you ensure that your child has a healthy eating habit and does not fall ill or suffer otherwise due to inadequate nutrition in his diet?

The frank answer is that you have to begin planning right from your child’s infancy so that she is naturally attracted to healthy food. Nutrition for kids is not something that you can change overnight after the realization dawns in that you have a problem on your hands with your kids’ eating pattern. However, with some perseverance, you will achieve your goal and your child will turn into an adventurous and keen eater. The best way to start, though, is from the initial stages when you breastfeed your child.

Breastfeeding ensures that your child has only the necessary amount of milk and does not drink even when she is satiated. This is one of the drawbacks of bottle-feeding wherein the parent encourages the child to drink the entire bottle and the child does so despite feeling full. If this habit of over-eating persists into adult life, your child may face problems of obesity and other weight related issues. So, stop the bottle and start breast-feeding your child whenever possible.

A great way to guarantee nutrition for kids is to have your kids share their mealtime with you. A small toddler feels grown-up and important by being included in this ritual. This will make her more receptive to new food items on the table. Observing the talk and the laughter that accompanies food will also heighten her sense of well-being and this feeling is extended to the food that goes with it.

Many a time, parents do not let children eat by themselves even if that is what the child wants. Mothers especially fear the resultant mess when the child feeds herself. This hurts the tender ego of your child who perceives it as a complete lack of control over her activities. Many kids refuse food thereafter as they want to express their sense of dissatisfaction in some way or the other. Losing your rigidity as a parent is very important here. You need to let your child experiment with her capabilities and eating food by herself is high on the priority list of to-dos for your child. By allowing your child to so, you are not only providing nutrition for kids but also helping them to become independent.

A reliable method of tempting your child to try new items on his platter is by presenting her with a wide array of interesting choices. Of course, lack of time may not always permit you to do so, but at least try this twice a week so that your child looks forward to the menu and forms a good impression of the whole eating experience.

Since most kids are averse to trying out vegetables and fruits in their diet, nutrition for kids means devising creative ways of getting them involved in the cooking process. You could even take them to the supermarket with you and let them select a vegetable or fruit of their choice. Planting your own garden is another way of provoking the curiosity of your child. You can encourage your child to tend certain vegetable plants as a pet project. Your child will naturally be interested in sampling out vegetables or fruits that come from his/her particular plant. Letting your child help with the cooking will also prompt him to take an active part in the proceedings and feel a direct interest in the food menu.

As kids have a tendency to get bored with repetitive food choices, exert your ingenuity and culinary skills by coming up with something totally novel once in a while. Your child will definitely appreciate your efforts and reciprocate with fervor by avidly trying out your menu. Combining vegetables with food items like pizza, soups, macaroni and cheese etc. is a good way of meeting up with the nutrition for kids’ requirement. Again, whipping up a healthy fruit salad frequently and storing fresh fruits can serve as a healthy replacement for your child’s desert needs.

Despite your diverse tactics, your child may disappoint you once in a while and refuse healthy food. Do not react with anger and frustration at these times and above all, never coerce your child into eating as this will infuse a negative feeling into the entire eating experience. The mature thing to do during such occasions is to just let go and present the same item at some future juncture when your child is more amenable to trying out new food items. This will help your nutrition for kids plan in the long run.

One of the best ways to create a healthy eating pattern for your child is to focus on family mealtimes. Make this time of the day as leisurely as possible and make the dining place a venue for discussing things that you enjoy or the good things that happened to each family member that day. You should always try and avoid arguments or other negative emotions from creeping into the family mealtime as this will directly impact the quality of your eating experience. Thus, if family mealtimes can be converted into ‘happy times’ for your family, your kids will pick up healthy eating patterns and your nutrition for kids plan will be a success.

However, when following or including these tips into your family plan, do remember that every child will have specific nutrition needs and a generalized nutrition for kids plan will not work. Also, kids’ appetites and tastes keep on changing every day, so you need to develop a flexible approach to your child’s eating habits and never impose a harsh diet regime for your child. Apart from this, you also need to focus on your own dietary intake. If you follow a healthy lifestyle and opt for healthy and nutritious food, your children will automatically follow your example. This will make it very easy for you to adopt a well-rounded diet plan for your child. So, before your start advising your child on correct eating habits, implement these into your own dietary schedule. By doing so, you will be blessed with kids who are healthy, well-developed and lead a relatively disease-free life. Isn’t that a parent’s dream come true?

Get Your Free Report On 16 Proven Ways To Motivate Your Child To Do Better In School…Plus, receive a “Live Demonstration Inside Our Unique 1 On 1 Online Classroom.” Go to http://www.tutorfi.com/parents/

Parenting Information You Can’t Do Without!

Each and every parent dreads being categorized a ‘bad parent’. All your life when you look forward to settling down with a family, children are an integral part of your dreams. You visualize a picture where your children hang on to every word you utter and are a joy to have around the house. However, when reality intervenes, your picture perfect plans seem to go awry and you find yourself frustrated and stressed out with the never-ending duties of parenthood. You see yourself losing your temper, constantly yelling at your child and being a literal pest of a parent. This is the time when you yearn for some reliable parenting information that can help you surface out of this whirlpool and take control over things the way you have always wanted to.

It is not that you do not mind being a ‘bad parent’. There are so many times that you try to rationalize your behavior but end up feeling guilty all the same. Most parents who unconsciously behave in an insensitive or callous manner towards their children have had parents who in turn, were negligent to them. Insensitivity does not imply that you physically or mentally abuse your child, but it can refer to behavior that is demanding and emotionally draining for your child. Many a time, you yourself are so exhausted with the responsibilities that life throws at you that you end up being a bad parent who is ill-equipped to deal with parenthood. The parenting information given in this article, will, however help you to objectively analyze your parental traits and correct them where necessary.

The re-assuring news when it comes to these snippets of parenting information is that rectifying negative traits and being a parent that your children respect and love is not a distant dream but a concrete reality. Awareness is the key here and if you consciously work towards eliminating your negative facets as a parent, you will soon feel confident about this role. To begin with, you need to understand that most great parents were blessed with wonderful parents themselves. This makes it relatively easy for them to re-direct their own pleasant experiences in to their relationship with their children.

If you have suffered a setback in this respect, you are more likely to adopt the role that your parents played even if it is the last thing you actually want to do. This also means that the likelihood of your children cloning you when they become parents is also a potent threat that you cannot ignore. So, what do you to get out of this terrible cycle? How do you ensure that future generations of your family are provided a great atmosphere at home that helps them grow and prosper as individuals? As I have said earlier, equipping yourself with some good parenting information will come in very handy and prepare you to be a good parent.

To begin with, never let parenthood be an accident. This means that you should never stumble into parenthood in a thoughtless way. Have you really thought about being a parent in its entirety or do you take the whole thing lightly and just think that it will be fun being a parent? What are the actual reasons that you want to be a parent? If you are very sure about your decision to be a parent, go to the next step in the parenting information chart. Ponder a lot on the kind of parent you want to be for your child. Do you want her to go through the same insecurities that you did or do you want to her to have a healthy and happy childhood with supportive parents who will stand by her through thick and thin? All of this will prepare you for the good parent that you will eventually turn out to be. In fact, this kind of mind mapping is essential before you even become a parent.

The next step in the parenting information chart is to examine your personal shortcomings that really bother you and you would like to change at any cost. For example, if you are afflicted with a negative attitude towards life and are prone to complain at the slightest problem, you have a serious issue at hand. Children easily internalize parental mannerisms and you do not want your child to go through life whining and being pessimistic, do you? So, now is the time to make a serious attempt to change yourself. Even before you begin with your efforts to enhance your personality, do remember that you have not embarked on an easy journey. If you are successful, however, you will do a favor not only to your child but also to yourself.

In present times, we believe in the equality of the sexes. So, unlike earlier times, the father does not hold a position of authority in the house. Children see this equal standing between the parents (as they should!) and are reluctant to accept an inferior role for themselves. This is very natural and there is no apparent harm in it. Keeping this in mind though, you have to modify your behavior with children in a manner that does not defy the parenting information chart. Keeping this information in mind you need to understand that authoritarian or controlled parenting rarely works and sticks out like a sore thumb. If you indulge in this form of parenting, you are likely to be seen as an anomaly that does not fit into the normal pattern of parenting. Careening the other way and being an over-indulgent parent is also not the ideal solution. If you do so, you will harm your child more than doing her any good. A wise course to pursue is to change with the times and treat your children in a benign yet disciplined way.

Last but not the least, enrolling for parenting education classes can prove extremely beneficial for gaining top-notch parenting information that will contribute to the happiness of your family. Many people feel that joining these classes is an admission of failure to be a good parent. This is a complete falsehood. Parenting education classes help you think out of the box and also help in being a creative and fun parent. They present you with different alternatives to situations when it comes to dealing with your kids. You can meet other parents in these classes and exchange ideas and problems that you normally face while parenting. In other words, it gives a different perspective to parenting which is so necessary to keep in pace with the changing times.

To put it succinctly, keeping this parenting information chart in mind will solve a lot of your handicaps as a parent and you will finally be able to develop a meaningful relationship with your children!

Get Your Free Report On 16 Proven Ways To Motivate Your Child To Do Better In School…Plus, receive a “Live Demonstration Inside Our Unique 1 On 1 Online Classroom.” Go to http://www.tutorfi.com/parents/

Parenting Toddlers Can Be a Nightmare!

Parenting toddlers can be the most challenging thing you have ever done. Unlike older children who will communicate their needs and desires verbally, toddlers are not developmentally equipped to express their wants in a refined or sophisticated manner. Primitive and basic instincts are what they resort to and you as a despairing parent are left tearing your hair apart and trying to decipher the meaning behind your toddler’s peculiar behavior. Even when you do understand the reason for their obnoxious behavior, reasoning with them and persuading them to behave in more acceptable ways can be a tough struggle. Most often, tantrums come to the fore when you are dressing your child or feeding him in the morning.

This is the time of day when you are trying to finish your chores in a hurry and having to witness a toddler tantrum leaves you emotionally distraught and spent. So, when parenting toddlers what is the best way to deal with these tantrums and at the same time get your child dressed and ready for his day care or playschool? Well, the first step you can take is to try and understand the reason behind such unruly behavior.

Is your child particularly resistant to dressing at certain mornings rather than others? If so, you should try and analyze his schedule on that specific day to gauge what might have triggered the tantrum. If it is something that you can change about the morning routine, it makes sense to do so rather than continuing with this excruciating pattern. Very often, toddlers react in extreme ways when they are tired or hungry or if they feel that they are not getting enough attention because you are very busy with other things.

Throwing a tantrum is the simplest way of getting your attention which is then extended into other activities like the dressing time. So when parenting toddlers, the first thing you need to do to pave the way for a smooth dressing time is to make sure that your toddler is well-fed and that you have devoted at least fifteen minutes in playing with him prior to your efforts to get him dressed. This will most probably make your child a lot more receptive to the entire routine of dressing.

If your child belongs to the vast majority of toddlers who have no particular reason for throwing a tantrum during dressing time, you need to address the whole issue differently. Tantrums usually elicit sharp responses from parents and believe it or not, your toddler wallows in these kinds of reactions. Hence, when parenting toddlers try and put up a fa?ade of indifference even if you are actually seething from within. This is a good way of discouraging your child to continue with the tantrum. Another way to lessen the tantrum throwing tendency is to heap praises on your toddler when he does comport himself in a relaxed and quiet manner.

Even though these are some sure-shot ways to eliminate the tantrum-throwing sessions during dressing, your priority should be to make the whole process of dressing fun so that your toddler looks forward to it rather than detest it. You could begin by buying clothes that have popular cartoon brands imprinted on them. Your child is usually so engrossed with examining the cartoon characters that he forgets to fuss when getting clothed.

Normally toddlers in the two to five year range love listening to stories. When parenting toddlers, an innovative method of catching their attention is to narrate stories of the imprinted cartoon characters on their clothes. Even general story-telling will bring the same results and dressing time can then be converted into a combination dressing and story-telling time. Of course, you need some patience for this, but the rewards will well worth be looking forward to.

Many toddlers feel as if they have no control over their surroundings and are being dictated to every single minute of the day. This aspect of the matter is usually not known to adults who are parenting toddlers, since they take them to be too small to experience such feelings. However, research proves that even toddlers feel the need to take some decisions and a great way to incorporate this into the dressing time is by letting your toddler choose what to wear.

When letting your toddler make a choice, see to it that it does not get too complex for him. For example, allowing him to choose from the entire range of his wardrobe might intimidate him and defeat your purpose. What you need to do when parenting toddlers is to present two or three options so that your toddler can select one that he is most comfortable with. This will eliminate a lot of stress associated with the process of dressing.

If morning time is especially hectic for you and you have no time to indulge in such a time-consuming procedure, you can pre-pone the actual dress choosing ritual into the list of activities before bed time. This will also prepare your child for the morning routine. Another great way to limit dressing time when parenting toddlers is to transform it into a game about who can dress faster. This is very effective when you have two children or more who can all join in the spirit of the game and compete in a playful manner. This will enhance the appeal connected with dressing time.

Some toddlers will persist in asking for clothes that do not suit the season. In such cases, you need to be firm and make them understand the whole concept of winter and summer clothing, rather than letting them wear inappropriate clothing that can affect their health.

However, when parenting toddlers, do not be over-critical or make fun about their dressing sense. Even if it is a bit different from other kids, you as a parent should appreciate the fact that every child is unique and has different tastes and sensibilities. Who knows, you may be raising a creative fashion designer who will come up with beautiful designs in future.

After your child has finished with his/her dressing, make it a point to give some positive feedback on a regular basis. Toddlers thrive on compliments and welcome as much as is given to them. This also helps in building a sense of individuality and confidence about the choices they make.

By following these simple tips when parenting toddlers, you can get away with all the stress and head-ache related to it and dressing time might just seem like the icing on the cake that you so look forward to. What more can you ask for?

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Reverse Psychology in Parenting

Most parents are familiar with the concept of reverse psychology in parenting. After all, this is a form of discipline that is used very often when other methods of controlling bad or disobedient behavior in children fail. Can parents be really criticized or blamed for adopting a method that is not strictly appropriate? Not really, when you consider the vast amount of difficulties they have to encounter when enforcing discipline.

Just visualize this scenario. You are exhausted from your office work, but somehow manage to reach home and prepare a nutritious meal for your child, only to have him or her reject it outright and ask for the junk food that you are trying so hard to get off his menu. After this, you try to get your child to take his nighttime shower, again to have him throw tantrums that you are just too tired to tolerate. This is not really the time when you pause to consider the correctness of your disciplinary measures and reverting to a dose of reverse psychology parenting comes very easy.

However, not many parents, including you, are aware of the implications of using reverse psychology while parenting. What most of us do not realize is that using this technique is an indirect way of challenging your child and his or her ability to perform a particular task. Let me give a simple example that will illustrate my point. When your child refuses to eat a plate of sandwich that you set out for him, you become frustrated and blurt out something like- ‘I bet that you can’t have that sandwich in ten minutes like John (your neighbor’s child) can.’ You think that hurting his ego will get the desired results and to some extent, it does. The problem occurs when you start resorting to this strategy very frequently.

Some clarity as to the definition of this term is needed here, though. Motivating your child to perform certain actions should not come under the head of ‘reverse psychology in parenting’. For example, if your child is exhibiting a particularly lazy streak by refusing to help you with simple household chores, you might say something like –‘Let us see whether you can peel these potatoes as fast as I can.’ Here, you are trying to infuse an element of fun into the proceedings so that your child can effectively shake off his lethargy.

Similarly, warning your child of the dire consequences of performing rash actions should not be mistaken for reverse psychology. There are times when children get impatient to do what they want and instilling a sense of caution to prevent possible accidents is extremely necessary and you need have no qualms while doing so. All you need to be careful about is damaging the ego of your child in a bid to make him or her behave in socially accepted ways, as this is what reverse psychology is all about.

To put it blatantly, even though this might provide short term relief and satisfaction, as a long term measure, it will prove completely ineffective. Some of the possible side effects of reverse psychology in parenting are that you might end up alienating your child. There are so many cases of children looking upon their parents as task-masters and exhibiting negative and rebellious streaks as a way to cope with these perceived traits in their parents. To make it even worse, your child might lose confidence in his ability to perform tasks and may end up with a low self-esteem, which is the last thing you want.

Do not panic! I am not trying to generalize here and conclude that every instance of reverse psychology in parenting will lead to these kinds of horrors that you do not even want to contemplate. All I am trying to say is that like many other tactics, this is one that you want to use with a lot of deliberation and tact. Never use this in a reactive mode, but only in a well-planned and subtle manner. Most importantly, never let every incident of recalcitrant behavior from your child lead to a camouflaged threat on your side, which is what reverse psychology in parenting usually boils down to.

So, what is the best way to use this formula as a parent? Well, to begin with make sure that you try and discipline your child using the conventional techniques first. Time-outs, reasoning with your child, using logical consequences etc. should be attempted before you get down to the use of reverse psychology in parenting. This again does not mean that every time the traditional methods fail, you use reverse psychology as the last straw.

The whole point of this technique is that you use it sparingly and wisely. Make sure that your behavior is not perceived as ‘manipulative’ by your child.

By indulging in reverse psychology at the drop of a hat, you are giving out the impression of losing control with very slight provocation and letting a sense of negativity creep into the entire parenting experience. And even though parenting can be very difficult sometimes, you do not want to wallow in guilt for the personality disorders of your child in his later life, do you? Ok, so are you wondering what the best way to replace this strategy is when all other methods fail you?

Well, what you could to is to make use of another form of reverse psychology that is not at all debilitating in nature. For instance, if your young child refuses to eat as he or she is engrossed in watching television, you could signal that it is bedtime since dinnertime has been dispensed with’. This will spur some positive action from your child who is yearning to have more television time on his schedule. Many children refuse food but are not at all averse to having their favorite dessert. At this point, if you could set a rule that dessert will be provided only after the actual meal, you will get better results. By doing this, you are presenting them with choices rather than attacking their sense of self-worth.

Even if your child does not accept these measures very gracefully in the initial stages, it won’t lead to any permanent harm and in due course, the understanding of why these rules are enforced will be gained. The whole idea about parenting is to be creative in your approach and come up with new ideas that do not disintegrate the beautiful parent-child relationship. At times, you as a parent can also be a bit flexible, especially when it comes to issues that are relatively negligible. By trying out different things, you can gradually get your child to co-operate in things that really matter and completely do away with reverse psychology in parenting.

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Some Advice on Parenting to Beat the Learning Curve

In modern times, we are very often besieged with conflicting advice on parenting that leaves us confused as to the best way to proceed. Most often, this advice relates to the procedure of disciplining your child. There are many parents who spoil their children by giving in to every whim and fancy. These parents believe that reprimanding children or punishing them will result in a mentally and emotionally inhibited child. What these parents do not realize is that children need to have limits set for them and discipline should be an integral part of the child’s upbringing.

If a child is never made to understand his mistakes and/or reproved for negative actions, he will grow up into a conceited human being who is inconsiderate and insensitive to others. Such an adult will never be able to exert self-control which is so crucial to lead a stable life. So, it is essential that any advice on parenting takes into account methods whereby your child is brought up in a way where he can take responsibility for his actions. Wanting to avoid punishing your child is reasonable, but there are other better ways of correcting reprehensible actions that will leave you feeling good and foster maturity in your child. Are you wondering what this is?

Well, all you need to do is to make use of ‘consequences’ in a tactful way when dealing with your child. This is one methodology that makes it possible to have a reasonable discussion with your child without alienating him or her. The great thing about this particular advice on parenting is that you do not have to restrict yourself to negative consequences but can make use of positive consequences liberally for mutual satisfaction. The great advantage with incorporating positive consequences into your daily routine is that your child truly learns what good, acceptable behavior and personality traits are all about. At the same time with the use of negative consequences, your child is motivated to shun bad qualities without a lot of preaching on your part.

Do remember that even when you are making use of the consequence formula, you keep your child in the loop rather than spring it on as a surprise. This will produce better results and your child will be aware of what is happening and why. What you should ideally do is to sit aside with your child and explain the reason for your resorting to this measure. Make it very clear that every adult faces the result of his actions, whether good or bad, and this law applies to them, as well. Tell them that even if they may not always agree with some of the consequences imposed on them, it is necessary for their well-being as well as understanding of the world around them. If possible, ask them to reflect on the actions and the resultant consequence. This is one advice on parenting that you will have to be very vocal about as it will open a clear path for communication later and avoid the chances of misunderstandings or resentment.

Even after this kind of a mature discussion, try and use consequence discipline rarely and with discretion. If you make excessive use of it, its value will be undermined and it will no longer hold any significance for your child. So, the first thing to do when your child misbehaves is to sit and talk to him and explain why such behavior should not be repeated. Despite this, if he persists in doing it then you have no option but to let him/her suffer the consequences. As mentioned earlier, since there is equal focus on positive consequences, your child will definitely let go of his negative actions with the passage of time and you will be a satisfied parent for heeding this advice on parenting.

Let us take a look at the ‘types of consequences’ you can use safely on your child. The first one on the list of advice on parenting is ‘natural consequences’. In this category, you have to play a passive role and let nature take its own course. For example, if your child refuses to go to bed at his regular time and plays late into the night, he will feel tired and sleepy for early morning school. After some days of indulging in this behavior, your child will promptly drop it since it leads to a sense of discomfort the next day.

There are times, though, when you cannot take a backseat and watch the proceedings calmly. If your child is over-indulging in his favorite sweet and refuses to stop with the excessive intake, you will be forced to interfere for fear of your child falling ill. In other words, you need to take a sane decision on when to use ‘natural consequences’ when you are disciplining your child.

The second consequence that is very effective on the advice on parenting list is ‘logical consequences’. Here, the consequence will be directly proportional to the misbehavior of the child. To give an example, if the child throws his personal items like clothes, books or toys out of his cupboard onto the floor in an angry outburst, you first wait for his temper to subside and then make him put everything back into place. The next time he loses his temper, he will think twice before venting out his anger in a similar manner since he knows that he will have to sort out the mess that he has created. This is a great way of awakening the dormant self-control in your child and making him accountable for his actions.

The third type of negative consequence on the advice on parenting list is the ‘loss of privileges’. What it means is that if your child persists in a particular type of misbehavior that you consider pretty serious, you deprive him of something that he particularly likes for a short time. Not letting him play with his favorite toy or watching his cartoon program belongs to this category of negative consequences. Never let the loss of privileges drag on for a very long time as it may lead to bitterness and a sense of humiliation. Short durations are enough to drive home your message.

When you are enforcing consequences, always remember to be consistent since this is vital for its effectiveness. Again, never let anger be the ruling force behind your action as a parent. Projecting a calm and impartial demeanor will yield better results with your child than radiating a lack of control as a parent. More importantly, as mentioned earlier in this article negative consequences have to be tempered with positive consequences so that your child appreciates your treatment of him/her. Focusing more on positive consequences will improve your relationship with your child and will diminish the negative qualities that you so abhor. Always keep this advice on parenting very close to your heart and reap the benefits on a continuous basis.

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